Mandy and I accomplished our first successful airline travel - a trip to Lake Tahoe on May 29-31! Kristan's brother John had suggested bringing some of Kristan's ashes to this beautiful place where they grew up. The weather cooperated wonderfully, with cool overcast mornings, and sunny warm afternoons. I took Friday off for the outbound flight, which made it less of a whirlwind trip.
My two months of preparations to get Mandy acclimated to her new pet carrier were well worth it. She was an awesome traveling dog! She didn't whine or claw to get out - she just sat in there peacefully, with her head poking out the large hole in the top. I spent a lot of time petting her, and telling her what a good girl I thought she was, and it seemed to help her decide to stay, and not jump out. Here we are, making our way through Denver International Airport. I allowed Mandy to have her head out of the bag, almost all the time, and no one said anything critical about it, on either flight.
Our friend Jennefer gave us a ride to the airport, which helped make the trip more convenient. I bought breakfast at my favorite Denver airport restaurant, Pour La France, in the main terminal building. I mostly closed the top of the pet carrier over Mandy, so people in the restaurant wouldn't worry about a dog being near their food. But no one said anything, and everyone near us had huge smiles on their faces, as they looked over at her.
We investigated the "pet relief area" at Denver airport. It's just outside the 2nd floor elevator, at the Northwest corner of the main terminal building. I read online, that it's best to get to that corner while inside on the 4th or 5th floors, then take the elevator to the 2nd floor. Otherwise, there are some obstacles preventing easy access. We followed their advice, and had no problem getting to the relief area. Mandy was not a big fan of the gravel, so we walked a hundred or so feet away, to an open area that had a lot of nice green weeds growing, and she immediately relieved herself there. I felt much better, knowing that we still had some time to spend indoors, going through security, riding the tram to Concourse B, and waiting at the gate.
Mandy was really good when we got on the plane. She was a little nervous at first, with the close quarters, all the people, and then with the strange noises the airplane was making, as they started the engines and began to move. But then she quieted down, curled up and fell asleep in her carrier at my feet, only looking up occasionally, to make sure I was still there, and watching closely to see if I was still my usual calm self. She did try to climb out, when they put the power to the engines for takeoff, and the plane suddenly lurched forward and began accelerating. But she cooperated, when I put my hand on top of her head, and urged her to get back in the carrier, one foot at a time. She heaved a sigh, curled up, and went back to sleep. She looked up with some concern, when the plane lurched on landing, but she was fine after she saw I wasn't concerned.
John picked us up at Reno airport, with his dog Mookie in the car. Mandy and Mookie have never been the best of friends, but they get along OK, usually after Mandy growls a lot, trying to carve out and defend her personal space. Both dogs were on alert, as we drove from Reno, up highway 80 into California.
We had some time, before we were going to meet up with Michelle, so we stopped at John's friends Dave and Barbara's house, in the hills outside of Truckee. Barbara was out, but we visited awhile with Dave, enjoying his peaceful back yard and beautiful view of their Lilacs, the rolling hills, and nearby reservoir.
John's wife Michelle rode the Amtrak train from the Bay Area. When it was due to arrive, we headed down to the Truckee train station. It's such a little station, they don't even have anyone working there to answer questions, so we had to get online, to figure out the updated arrival time. It wasn't updated, so we started asking around, and the lady in the gift shop had heard that it was due to arrive 5 minutes ago. Sure enough, in about 10 more minutes, the silver Amtrak train glided around the curve, came to a stop, and unloaded a dozen or so passengers, including Michelle.
The three of us drove from the train station to Tahoe City, and stocked up on some groceries at Safeway. Since it was a hot afternoon, I didn't feel good about leaving the dogs in the car, so I took them for a walk, while John and Michelle were in the store, and I was marveling at the beautiful view of the lake, even from Safeway. You know you're someplace special, when even the grocery store has an amazing view.
I took the dogs out on the pier behind Safeway, to enjoy an unobstructed view of the lake. While they were surprisingly cooperative going out, they were anxious to get back, and pulling like sled dogs, dragging me back off the pier to solid ground. Neither one of them likes water all that much, and I guess after looking down off the pier, they decided this was no place for a Chihuahua to be hanging out.
John had discovered that the Attardi family's old home was available for rent, and booked us a couple of nights there. He picked up the keys at the realtor's office, then we went to the house, and got settled in. I still remembered the first time I visited that house. I had only been with Kristan for two months. We flew a rented Piper Comanche to Palo Alto, picked up my sister, her husband, and their 1-year old boy, and flew up to Tahoe, to spend Thanksgiving with Kristan's mom. When we first arrived, Kristan stashed all the snacks we'd brought in the pantry, on the top shelf, behind something else. I asked her what she was doing, and she rolled her eyes. I don't remember exactly what she said, but apparently John was their family's version of the snack monster. Sure enough, I went looking for one of our snacks sometime later, and they were all gone. The snack monster had struck!
Mandy and I stayed in Kristan's old bedroom from her teen years. I wonder if Mandy intuitively knew that, but in my mind, looking at her sitting on the bed the first time up there, with her ears up expectantly, I almost believed it. She sat quietly, looking around, as I sat on the bed next to her, and mumbled a few things to Kristan. I couldn't say much, because I still choke up, any time I try to say anything about or to her. I'm trying to allow myself an inordinate amount of time to heal, even though part of me is frustrated at my lack of coping ability after five months. As I read the many words of advice out there, by others who are going through this grief, and considering themselves "over it" after 30 whole days, I just have to laugh through my tears, at what I'm really hoping is
self-aggrandizement and not the norm.
We fixed ourselves a late lunch of Safeway deli sandwiches, bananas, tortilla chips and guacamole dip, and sat around the kitchen table enjoying it. I could picture the Attardi family all sitting around a kitchen table like that, relating their experiences of the day, before their dad died in 1971. I remembered the story that Kristan told me, about the dinner table and the nail polish. I had faint memories of other family stories she had told me, but they've faded so much, I couldn't get them back.
After lunch, we moved to the living room, and spent a little time enjoying the view and chatting. The dogs were both tuckered out, from all the traveling, and the afternoon heat, and fell asleep on the couches.
We went for a walk on Edgewater Drive, the street that goes by the house. After we got back, John's old neighbor Tim Hauserman dropped by, and while they were chatting about the old times, and what everyone they knew is doing now, I fell asleep on one of the couches in the living room. That was one of the best naps I've had in years! When I woke up, I had just missed the sunset, but I snapped a photo of the post-sunset view, which was also pretty nice.
We had a late dinner at the Tahoe Mountain Brewing Company, and barely made it back to the house, we were so tired. But then Mandy needed to go out, so the two of us went for a walk in the dark. I was so glad she dragged me out there, because I loved the full moon, and the sight of lights along the coastline nearby, and across the lake in Nevada. That got me thinking about all the times that Kristan dragged me into doing something I wasn't really interested in, and most of the time, I would look back upon those little adventures with great fondness. I'm missing her so much it literally hurts.
We headed out Saturday morning, in search of coffee, and didn't find much in town. Just as we got to where the highway splits, at the dam that controls the outflow from Lake Tahoe into the Truckee River, we found a delightful coffee shop named The Dam Cafe. It had the kind of atmosphere I enjoy in a place like that. Quiet, with outside seating available, nice people working behind the counter, interesting items scattered around inside, on the walls, and around by the windows, to look at. And of course, good coffee drinks and breakfast food.
After breakfast, we walked across the street, to the actual dam. We visited the historical Gatekeeper's Cabin and Ellen Attardi memorial library, which was dedicated to Kristan and John's mom, not long after she died in 1986. I remember flying up to Truckee-Tahoe airport for that ceremony. We stayed with Kristan's Aunt Elise at the Kitchen's vacation home over near Meek's Bay. I think Uncle Bud was still alive, but having a rough time in a nursing home after his stroke.
We continued our walk, and with the water so low, we naturally found ourselves way out into where the lake would have been. The shoreline has receded several hundred feet from where it would normally have been. Lake Tahoe is one of the deepest lakes around, so it still has a lot of water, but all that dry rocky area between the water and the old shoreline provided a very unsettling reminder of the drought that California is enduring right now. John made the comment, "Water: It was a good thing, while it lasted."
We visited Trail's End cemetery, which turns out to be a very nice place to spend some quiet time. It's slightly up the hill above the nearby golf course, with a great view of the lake, and shared Kristan with her Dad and Mom. John recounted the stories of many of the people buried there. I remembered visiting there when Kristan was alive, and the two of them having a non-stop conversation about a lot of the same people. They would remind each other of some of the facts that were missing from each other's stories. Michelle noted that many of the people there had died when they were still too young.
That afternoon, John hosted a reception at house. He had invited a bunch of his old friends, and a few of them made it to the house. I remember talking to Brett Watson and his wife Yumi, Dan Hauserman and his friend Chris, and Dave and Barbara Kahn. There were others, but I can't remember their names. They all had interesting stories to tell about the old times, and seemed to be having a good time discussing what's been going on with people they knew in common.
That beautiful almost-full moonlit evening, we went for a very pleasant walk, down to the beach, and onto the Dollar Point pier, and gave some of Kristan to the lake. We could see a new lighter spot on the bottom. We tried to say something respectful and encouraging, but it was very difficult for me to get past my "choking up when thinking of Kristan" syndrome. As is occurring again now...
On Sunday morning, even though John searched for another interesting-looking place to try, we found ourselves having breakfast at The Dam Cafe again, and I wasn't disappointed at all. I felt very comfortable there. One of my favorite memories of all our visits with John, including this one, is of him grabbing something interesting to read, and sharing the fun facts or unusual wording with us. He loves to read about interesting and quirky things, and share them. I really miss listening to him and Kristan chatting about anything and everything. I could never hold up my end of the conversation like they could, but I enjoyed listening. This time, he had picked up a book about the history of Tahoe City, and had found a reference to their dad Ron Attardi, identified as the contractor that was working on one of the local buildings, until his untimely death.
We ventured out from The Dam Cafe for another morning walk. This time we headed in the opposite direction from yesterday, along the dry lake shore. We came upon a white wooden box on stilts, which turned out to be a weather station, and the man who tended it was there taking his readings. He said that particular station was one of the few that still had to be maintained by a live person every day. He mentioned that he has also been the dam tender for many years, and we talked about the details of that for awhile. We continued our walk by sneaking under a pier to get around a fence and walk back out into the dry and desolate lake shore, and shortly found ourselves at Commons Beach park. There were hundreds of placards in the concrete fenceposts, apparently identifying donors. John pointed out the name of Frieda Klein, a woman who created many beautiful paintings of Lake Tahoe and the surrounding area. Kristan had some of them at our house, and talked about her. John pointed out a building where the old library used to be. Their mom Ellen was the town librarian, and worked in both the old and new locations for many years.
I wanted some kind of souvenir of the trip, but I hadn't made any special effort, so at the end of our walk, I stopped back into The Dam Cafe, and bought one of their T-shirts. The design on the front was very simple, just the name of the cafe, and I was a little disappointed, but after thinking about the simple elegance, it seemed fine. After I bought it, Michelle noticed another shirt on the counter, and asked if I got the one with all the graphics on it, and I had what John calls a FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) moment, but I proudly got past it, and said I was fine with the one I got. I must have been "channeling Kristan" when I saw that the Tahoe City historical book was on sale, so I bought a copy for John. He gets very indignant about gifts, because he's trying to keep a minimalist existence, so I felt like I had to make a point of telling him that I was prepared to take it home with me, if he didn't want it. But he did take it, and seemed to really appreciate it, which made me feel pretty good. I only noticed the fancy design on the back of my T-shirt, after I got it home and unfolded it. Kristan would never have missed that!
Our last stop was to swing back by the house at Dollar Point. We went around one last time, to ensure that the dishes were picked up and in the dishwasher, the laundry was in a pile by the door, all of our things were packed up and in the car, and we had all the keys and paperwork ready to check out. Oh yeah, and the dogs! Then we held one last informal ceremony, where we said a few words, and John scattered the last of Kristan's "Tahoe ashes" from the deck, into the front yard by the huge conifer. They fell in a small cloud, very gracefully, down into the yard and at the trunk of the tree. A few moments later, there was no sign of them, and I felt like the yard had completely accepted her.
It was time to go. We headed out towards Reno airport, by way of Highway 89, which follows the Truckee River, and was Kristan and John's old school bus route to Tahoe-Truckee high school. It's a pretty drive, even if the river is practically dry right now, from the drought. As we drove in on Friday, and out on Sunday, John was recounting a few of the stories from those days on the bus.
I had read online about the pet relief area at Reno airport, near gate K9 (pun intended?), with some cute paw prints painted on the pavement leading up to it. We checked it out, and although it was very nice, once again, Mandy preferred the large expanse of nice green grass alongside the airport access road, just a few feet away.
Mandy was an even more awesome traveler, for the flight home from Reno. She made lots of friends in the security line. She only tried climbing out of the pet carrier once, as the plane was accelerating for takeoff, and I was distracted by looking out the window. My seatmates were highly entertained, as she stretched herself out, with her front paws on my knees, and looked up at me inquisitively, with a "Can I come up now?" question clearly implied -- but she was fine for the rest of the trip.
Mandy and I accomplished our first successful airline travel - a trip to Lake Tahoe on May 29-31! Kristan's brother John had suggested bringing some of Kristan's ashes to this beautiful place where they grew up. The weather cooperated wonderfully, with cool overcast mornings, and sunny warm afternoons. I took Friday off for the outbound flight, which made it less of a whirlwind trip.
