Remembering

We’re doing something a little different this New Year’s Day - we’re burning a candle today, in remembrance of everyone we’ve lost over the years.

 

And speaking of remembrances, Mandy was such a big part of our lives, for being such a little dog, that the impact of her leaving is tremendous. Everywhere we look, we have a comfy little bed or other special place for her, so she could position herself to be able to watch our every move. It’s so painful, each time I pick up a bed and put it on the pile of stuff to go out... so here I go, itemizing them all, and maybe that will help me process, and then let go of, some of my more difficult emotions right now. Feel free to skip, or scroll down to read the individual photo captions, as you like…

 

Mandy’s (and now Cleo’s) water dish in the bedroom, and also, her first bed, a folding wire-frame dog kennel, which we only used once the first night to confine her, and then immediately let her out, and brought her up onto the trunk at the foot of our bed. The next night, she weaseled her way onto the foot of the bed, and then finally she was rewarded with a spot on the bed between us. The kennel, with its fluffy pillow, became one of her favorite and most comfortable places to hang out in the bedroom, for many years. We got her so many dog toys, which you can see on top of the kennel, but she rarely played with any of them, but we still kept them for all these years. She has an even larger collection of even smaller dog toys, under the table in the great room by the sofa. She rarely touched them, either. 

 

Mandy’s special blanket on our bed. After our first few days with her, and we realized she was going to end up on the bed with us, we always kept a small blanket on top of the bed for her. For years, I would just flip the blanket over her, after she got comfortable, which was only after I had settled down. Lately she had a much harder time getting settling in, which was one of many small and large clues that she was nearing the end.

 

Mandy’s bed and blanket in the back of my car, which was brand-new two weeks before we got her. She spent so many hours snoozing comfortably back there, as we were driving cross country, or just on the mornings while she was waiting for me to get out of breakfast, so we could go for our late morning walks…

 

Mandy’s bed in Jennefer’s closet. This was one of the earliest beds that we set up for her, in locations throughout the house, and it was the place she would patiently wait for me to get home from work, after our caregiver/housekeeper/dog-sitter left. When I started bike riding, she would wait in here for me to return.

 

Mandy had a bed behind the sofa, so she could hang out and watch us prepare our and her meals. Then there were two beds here for the past few years, as Cleo at some point started commandeering Mandy’s bed, which left Mandy standing on the hard wood floor, gazing at us morosely. Now this one bed is just for Cleo, if she wants it.

Mandy’s bed in my basement office, by my (now-vintage) desktop computer, which I’ve started using again for some activities, as the larger screen works much better for me at times. She followed me down, in spite of the blockade I’d put at the top of the basement stairs, and would snooze comfortably for hours, as I finished up my various e-chores here.

 

Mandy’s bed in the Study, near my (relatively new) laptop computer, which I was "forced" into getting, because the old computer could no longer keep up with my favorite activity, flight simulation. She would snooze here at my feet for hours, as I would plan and fly my many trips using the X-Plane and Microsoft Flight Simulators. This became her favorite place, especially recently, and she would often detour into here, when she was roving the house looking for where I must’ve gone, and I'd eventually find her here, waiting for me…

 

Mandy’s collapsible traveling dog house, usually in the corner of the great room, but currently in the Study, to make room for Christmas decorations. This became yet another regular place for her to hang out and supervise us. Cleo quickly decided that it’s also a fine place for her to get some rest in relative privacy, while keeping an eye on us.

Mandy’s airline carrier, by the fireplace hearth near the TV. She traveled quite a few miles with us by air, but when we got home, this became yet another place for her to hang out and supervise us, as we were watching TV, when she wasn’t cuddled up with us on the sofa. Now Cleo has decided she likes to hang out here, and has taken over the supervisory duties. Oops, I just realized, there is a bunch of Mandy traveling paperwork and other supplies stashed in the big pocket on the other end of the carrier - so I have yet another task of unpacking and dispositioning all those items. 

 

Mandy’s bed by the table in the breakfast nook. In her never-ending quest to keep an eye on us, she would settle down in this bed, any time we were sitting at the breakfast table. I found myself looking there several times today, as we were getting ready to go out for an errand, as lately I've picking her up from there, to carry her to the car, for our drive to pick up breakfast. She didn't need to be carried all the way, but it was expedient sometimes, to skip the extra time she took to get out of bed, stretch, stretch again, and again, wander behind us to the door, sniffing a few things along the way, and then for us worry about whether or not she would make it down the garage stairs without a misstep, and then pick her up and put her in her bed, in the back seat of the car. 

This is the pile of beds and blankets waiting to go somewhere. You can see that we've already made a little progress on removing some of these items that also have strong emotional ties, from the places where Cleo doesn't seem to want to use them.