Dear Diary 2020

😅 Bwahahaha! Totally worth the short read!

Dear Diary 2020 Edition,

In January, Australia caught on fire . I don’t even know if that fire was put out, because we straight up almost went to war with Iran . We might actually still be almost at war with them . I don’t know, because Jen Aniston and Brad Pitt spoke to one another at an awards show and everyone flipped the crap out , but then there was this thing happening in China, then Prince Harry and Megan peaced out of the Royal family, and there was the whole impeachment trial , and then corona virus showed up in the US “officially,” but then Kobe died and UK peaced out of the European Union.

In February, Iowa crapped itself with the caucus results and the president was acquitted and the Speaker of the House took Ten. Whole. Years. to rip up a speech, but then the WHO decided to give this disease a name COVID-19, which confused some really important people in charge of, like, our lives, into thinking there were 18 other versions before it, but then Harvey Weinstein was found guilty , and Americans started asking if Corona beer was safe to drink , and everyone on Facebook became a doctor who just knew the flu like killed way more people than COVID 1 through 18.

In March, stuff hit the fan . Warren dropped out of the presidential race and Sanders was like Bernie or bust , but then Italy shut its whole country down , and then COVID Not 1 through 18 officially become what everyone already realized, a pandemic and then a nationwide state of emergency was declared in US , but it didn’t really change anything, so everyone was confused or thought it was still just a flu , but then COVID Not 18 was like ya’ll not taking me seriously? I’m gonna infect the one celebrity everyone loves and totally infected Tom Hanks , get y’all to close all of the schools so y’all can appreciate teachers for once (because you can’t teach them anything other than how to use a touch screen ) close down all of salons so you can’t get your hair or your nails done , everyone had to work from home and attend Zoom meetings in their underwear. The DOW took a crap on itself, and most of us still don’t understand why the stock market is so important or even a thing (I still don’t), We were then all introduced to Tiger King and the ONE thing we can all agree on this year, Carol totally killed her husband ..... whacked him! And then Netflix was like you’re welcome, and we all realized there was no way we were washing our hands enough in the first place because all of our hands are now dry and gross and were all searching for lotion now.

In April, Bernie finally busted himself out of the presidential race , but then NYC became the set of The Walking Dead and we learned that no one has face masks , ventilators, or toilet paper, or THE FREAKING SWIFFER WET JET LIQUID, and by now our outgrowth is showing, so there’s a shortage on box hair dye and all of our hair dressers are like, NO DONT DO IT!!! But, then Kim Jong-Un died, but then he came back to life … or did he? Who knows, because then the Pentagon released videos of UFOs and nobody cared, and we were like man, it’s only April….

In May, the biblical end times kicked off, historical locust swarms, we learned of murder hornets and realized that 2020 was the start of the Hunger Games . However people forgot to let us know. people legit started to protest lockdown measures with AR-15s, sports events were cancelled everywhere. But then people all over America finally reached a breaking point with race issues and violence. There were protests in every city ,which was confusing to some of us because people were definitely gathering in crowds of more than 10 and for sure closer than 6 foot away from each other. Those people must have forgotten about the pandemic called COVID Not One Through 18. Media struggled with how to focus on two important things at once, people in general struggle to focus on more than one important thing. A dead whale was found in the middle of the Amazon rain forest after monkeys stole COVID 1 Through 19 from a lab and ran off with them, and either in May or April (no one is keeping track of time now) that a giant asteroid narrowly missed the Earth .

In June, science and common sense just got thrown straight out the window and somehow wearing masks became a political thing, but then everyone sort of remembered there was a pandemic, but then decided that not wearing a mask was somehow a God given right (still haven't found that part in the bible or even in the constitution). then scientists announced they found a mysterious undiscovered mass at the center of the earth, and everyone was like DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH IT, but then everyone took a pause to realize that people actually believed Gone With The Wind was like non-fiction, but then it was also announced that there is a strange radio signal coming from somewhere in the universe that repeats itself every so many days , and everyone was like DON’T YOU DARE ATTEMPT TO COMMUNICATE WITH IT but then America reopened from the shut down that actually wasn’t even a shut down, and so far, things have gone spectacularly .... not that great . All of the Karen’s came out at once, and people started tearing down statues. Everyone is on Facebook arguing that masks kill because no one knows how breathing works , but then Florida was like hold my beer and let me show you how we’re number one in all things, including new Not Corona Beer Coronavirus. Trump decides now is a good time to ask the Supreme Court to shut down Obama Care because what better time to do so than in the middle of a pandemic , but then we learned there was a massive dust cloud coming straight at us from the Sahara Desert , which is totally normal, but this is 2020, so the ghost mummy thing is most likely in that dust cloud. We then learned of meth-gators , and I'm like that is so not on my flipping 2020 Bingo card can we use it as the free space?? Then we learned that the Congo's worst ever Ebola outbreak is over , and we were all like, there was an Ebola outbreak that was the worse ever? ....... and don’t forget we just discovered FLYING SNAKES! , seriously! FLYING SNAKES!!!!

So here comes July…. at this point we are over it, just tell us what’s next .... Aliens? Zeus? Asteroids? Artificial Intelligence becomes self aware? Can it just be something cool or fun for once? Maybe even a good laugh, like hahaha April Fools! We all actually wouldn’t mind that joke at this point. But No joke.. Kanye West announces he is running for President

I have no idea who wrote this. This doesn't even cover what is happening in Canada!! OMG...what's happening in Canada? Also, why didn't I know about the whale in the Amazon? Or a few other things because I just can’t keep up anymore! But I’m sharing it because as long as we make it through 2020, I really want this to pop back up in the memories a few years from now.

Independence Day Woes

So this is the most impressive instance of illegal fireworks I’ve ever experienced outside my windows. The entire neighborhood is lit up and the shock waves are strong enough to shake my walls. Maybe because very few sanctioned fireworks shows are occurring tonight. I imagine a bunch of my neighbors running up to Wyoming to buy mortars, Roman candles, M-80s - you name it, they’re exploding it. And of course, with no representation from the fire department on site. I've always loved fireworks, the closer and louder the better, right up until the illegal ones burn down my house, which almost happened a few years ago. 

It's a good thing my little dog Mandy does so well with it, but she was still ready to bolt to anywhere else, when I took her out to go before bedtime. The neighbors started lighting off firecrackers, and all she could do, was drop to the ground, and run in any direction as fast as she could. I now understand how even well-behaved dogs go missing during these times. I had to chase her down, and carry her inside. Maybe it will quiet down after midnight, so my dog can relieve herself in the yard without being literally scared sh*tless. I've always loved fireworks, but after 13 years with this sweet little rescued dog, I really appreciate those whom it hurts. It’s too bad we can’t celebrate winning a war, without waging a little war of our own, against our poor defenseless pets.

I agree, of course July 4th is the day to celebrate the signing of our Declaration of Independence from King George III, and to honor all the lives that were lost, fighting for our freedom during the war that followed. There are also, of course, other ways to celebrate, without blowing things up - maybe an awesome family meal and a great movie afterwards - just a thought, considering current times. I don't expect all "red-blooded Americans" to eliminate fireworks from our July 4th experience, but it would be nice, if we didn't try to burn up our neighbors' houses doing it. It's bad so many public displays were canceled, mostly because of COVID-19, as that drove a lot more people to set off their own illegal fireworks. Instead of joining in the sacrifice to help stop the rapid spread of the disease, I'm confounded to witness so many people simply rebelling against the few common sense guidelines.

Boxes!

So. Many. Boxes! In the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, my sister jetted out to Florida, to help deal with our late father's possessions. She had an almost-constant stream of text messages and photos going with family members, while she went through Dad's things that were laying around, and also when she opened box after box of our grandmother's and great-grandmother's things that were stored in Dad's inaccessible hallway. I tried to resist taking very much, but still, over the past two weeks, I've received enough boxes from her, to fill up the one side of my garage that has no cars.

Rotten luck

We were walking. Just walking. Doing what we've been doing most days, since Jennefer's employer folded because of COVID-19. Jennefer went to her treatment, then we made ourselves coffee and breakfast, and headed out for our usual 4.5 mile walk from the house, looping around through Ketring Park and around its lake, then heading over to Sterne Park, before the hike up the hill to home. Just after we got to Sterne Park, we got into an intense conversation about how walking faster would be better exercise for Jennefer, and suddenly she stepped in a pothole and twisted her foot badly. We stopped for awhile, to give her time to sit in the grass and assess the damage, and she decided she wanted to continue walking up the hill to home, since she had an appointment coming up. She was in pain and walking with a pronounced limp. We got home OK, and then she called and found out her appointment was the next day, so we hadn't needed to rush, oh well. Her foot didn't get any better overnight, and was still very painful the next morning, so we took her to Urgent Care after her treatment, and after an X-Ray, they diagnosed her with a fractured metatarsal. We are feeling overwhelmed by all the challenges that 2020 is throwing at us.

ATC Zero Events

Things sure are different out there. Since we’re laying low most of the time, we don’t get to personally experience all the weirdness. I just ran across this writeup on ATC Zero events (unexpected total closures of Air Traffic Control facilities, when COVID-19 gets into them), and some tips for how a pilot can minimize the impact to their flying.

SR-71 Blackbird Adventure

I just finished another X-Plane flight simulator flying adventure, this time flying the SR-71 Blackbird ultra-fast-and-high spy plane, to Seattle, Denver, Honolulu, Okinawa, and Anchorage, before returning home. 

What a rush! This plane goes much higher and faster than anything else I've ever flown, real or simulated, while at the same time, having some of the oldest, least-intuitive, gauges adorning the instrument panel, and requiring a quirky technique, and a lot of manual effort, to fly.

Here are links to all the flights in this short adventure. At the bottom of each post, you'll find links to "Newer Post" and "Older Post", in case you'd like to jump directly from one flight to the next, without coming back to this list. I hope you enjoy!

Learning the SR-71

Denver to Seattle, WA

Seattle to Denver

Denver to Honolulu, HI

Honolulu to Kadena AFB, Okinawa, JP

Okinawa to Elmendorf AFB, Anchorage, AK

Anchorage to Buckley AFB, Denver, CO

Cleaning out Dad's home

My younger sister saw that "Florida is opening up," and immediately booked a series of airline flights, to go clean out our father's place, which has been piled high with boxes and other paraphernalia for many years. I'm torn -- I wanted to be there with her, but we suddenly learned we have a serious medical issue in our household, so I'm staying here to provide emotional and logistical support. She's already been out there for a week, with a friend who traveled to keep her company. She's sending lots of photos of his things to family members, so we can decide if we want anything. Such an emotional time, and also a big physical commitment for her to be there by herself, now that her friend has headed back home.